What's My Letter?
Finding Identity & Truth in the LGBTQIA+ Culture
WORKBOOKS
FOR CHRISTIAN
PARENTS & TEENS
The discovery of your teen's LGBTQIA+ sexuality can be overwhelming.
Here are compassionate and Biblically centered resources to help you and your child work through these issues together.
What’s My Letter? are innovative workbooks designed to foster meaningful and open conversations with your teen about his or her sexuality. Packed with discussion starters, relationship-building exercises, and real-life anecdotes, these Biblically based guides are for parents and teens looking to create a safe space for dialogue, understanding, and clarity regarding LGBTQIA+ issues. These workbooks will help you create an environment where your teen can learn about the origins of his or her feelings and provide hopeful alternatives for healing and growth, within a Scriptural framework.
FOR YOUNGER TEENS
(Recommended ages 11-14)
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What's My Letter? Finding Identity and Truth in the LGBTQIA+ Culture is a gentle, faith-based guide for parents and children to explore questions about identity and sexuality together. Designed to open the door for honest, age-appropriate conversations, this workbook helps build trust while keeping Christ at the center of the journey. With guided discussions, Biblical insights, and reflective activities, it equips parents to walk alongside their child with wisdom, compassion, and grace with Biblical truth in mind.
FOR OLDER TEENS
(Recommended ages 15+)
As a parent, you want to help your teen - but what if they’re not ready to talk? Older teens often find it difficult or uncomfortable to have open conversations about sensitive topics like faith, identity, and sexuality. What’s My Letter? Sorting Through My Feelings, Faith, and Identity is a self-paced, faith-based workbook that gives your teen the space to reflect, process, and grow without the pressure of a direct conversation. It respects their need for privacy while guiding them with Biblical truth.
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Uses a Biblical counseling perspective with Scripture to reinforce the idea that God’s plan for human sexuality is the best way.
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Clarifies from a biopsychosocial perspective why your teen feels the way he or she does.
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Eases the fear that your teen is “broken” in some way, or that he or she was “born this way."
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Opens discussion about your teen's trauma history, deficiencies in interpersonal relationships, personality traits which may lead to confusion about sexual identity, and helps pinpoint the roots of his or her LGBTQIA+ feelings.
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Beyond biopsychosocial development, we’ll also look at homosexuality in a clear Biblical context and deal with the lingering question many theologians can’t fully answer: Now what?
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I like that the workbook has pictures, videos, and activities to break up the heaviness of the subject matter. It makes us feel more at ease with bringing the conversation up with our son. I feel like we have a plan moving forward.
- Holly, parent
S a m p l e P a g e s
Q & A's
Who is this workbook for and how is it different from other resources?
As a licensed counselor and former youth pastor who has worked with many LGBTQIA+ young people for the past 30 years, I’ve seen parents’ desperation for answers and the need for guidance firsthand. As a Christian teenager who struggled with sexual identity myself, I also know the inner turmoil this issue can create. To be clear, this is not an LGBTQIA+ affirming workbook. As a conservative Christian, I hold to the belief that anything other than heterosexuality is a distortion of God’s plan for human sexuality. But as a counselor, I understand the delicate nature of these discussions and the associated feelings of guilt and shame felt by an LGBTQIA+ teen. I hope to bridge the gap and create a safe space for open dialogue between you and your child, while clarifying issues related to LGBTQIA+ sexuality, and give you both hopeful direction in moving forward.
Is this resource trying to "change" my child's orientation?
I want you, as the parent, to have realistic expectations about long-term outcomes. Sexual development is a highly complex process and is usually formalized in adolescence. That’s why it is unlikely that a heterosexual adult will ever explore homosexuality. In early adolescence, it may be possible to change sexual orientation to some degree, or even resolve same sex attraction altogether. In later adolescence, though, the likelihood of homosexuality completely resolving is low. If sexuality is on a continuum scale, as some psychologists believe, your child might be able to go from a “6” (completely homosexually attracted) to a “3” (somewhat homosexually attracted) by understanding their emotional needs and getting those needs met through healthy same sex relationships. If your goal is to make your child “straight” you may ultimately be disappointed. Depending on age, they may have some homosexual feelings for the rest of their lives. The good news is, those feelings do not have to dictate their sexual and lifestyle choices, as they are presented hopeful and gospel-centered alternatives.
How do you approach this sensitive topic?
I’ll be approaching the topic of sexuality from a biblical counseling perspective using scripture to reinforce the idea that God’s plan for human sexuality is the best way. I also hope to provide some clarity from a biopsychosocial perspective on why your teen feels the way they do. I’ve found in my own journey that understanding the origins of our brokenness can help pave the way for healing and peace. For youth who feel sexually conflicted, it is vitally important to clarify the reasons behind the why and to ease the fear that your child is broken in some way, or that they were “born this way.” Together, we will discuss your child’s trauma history (emotional and/or physical), deficiencies in interpersonal relationships, personality traits which may lead to confusion about sexual identity, and hopefully pinpoint some of the roots of their LGBTQIA+ feelings. Beyond biopsychosocial development, we’ll also look at homosexuality in a clear Biblical context and deal with the lingering question many theologians can’t fully answer: Now what?
What is your theological position on homosexuality and "gay Christians"?
I believe God made humans “male and female” (Gen. 1:27) and marriage/romantic relationships are meant to be exclusively between a man and woman. Romans 1:26 defines homosexuality as being an “unnatural affection”, i.e., an aberration of God’s divine order in human sexuality. Due to our fallen nature, all humanity struggles with various sins and homosexuality is one of many sexual sins. I believe that God alone can transform the heart and change sexual desires. If a person who professes Christ continues to have a desire for sexual intimacy with the same sex, God alone can give sustaining grace and strength not to engage in sinful homosexual behavior. I believe that unremoved “thorns in the flesh” (2 Cor. 12:7), such as homosexuality, can be instruments God uses to cause us to cling more closely to Christ and foster deeper dependence upon Him. 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 mentions several sinful lifestyles (including homosexuality) but goes on to say, “And such were some of you…” as a reference to God’s ability to deliver and keep an individual from sinful practices. I emphatically do not believe in the label of “gay Christians”, i.e., those Christians who consider themselves to be gay, as this validates that desire, to some degree, even if the desire is not acted upon. I believe some Christians can experience unwanted same-sex attraction while continuing a pursuit of holiness in all their behaviors.
For more Q&A's, download our parent's guide for free here.
DOWNLOAD OR PRINT VERSIONS AVAILABLE
BIO
Joel Daugherty, MA, LPC-S is a licensed professional counselor supervisor and owner of Lake Area Counseling and Wellness in Lake Charles, LA. Joel has been working with youth and families in professional and religious settings for the past 30 years as a pastor, youth pastor, counselor, clinical crisis assessor, and interventionist. He and his wife, Jessica, have a blended family of 10 children.
Joel Daugherty, M.A., LPC-S and Lake Area Counseling & Wellness, are committed to providing compassionate care to all individuals. While we believe that Scripture is authoritative and speaks to every human condition, including sexuality, we do not endorse or condone the use of "conversion therapy" or any unethical practices aimed at forcefully changing an individual's sexual orientation or gender identity. Our approach is rooted in both respect for the dignity and autonomy of every person and a commitment to helping individuals navigate their faith and identity in a supportive and non-coercive environment.